Collectible of the Week: Interplanetary Star Fortress (Sears; 1979)
Posted in collectible of the week
I’ll Be Back!
Posted in Uncategorized
Ken Russell (1927 – 2011)
Posted in tribute
The Cult-TV Faces of: The Hang Out
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| Identified by Hugh: The Club Creole from V: The Series. |
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| Identified by Michael Falkner: Ten Forward in Star Trek: The Next Generation (“The Child.”) |
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| Identified by Indiephantom: Twin Peaks. |
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| Identified by Hugh: Nightmare Cafe |
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| Identified by Michael Falkner: Quark’s, Deep Space Nine. |
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| Identified by Michael Falkner: Sandrine’s, Star Trek: Voyager. |
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| 7 |
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| 8 |
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| Identified by Hugh: The Bronze on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. |
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| Identified by Will: Quake on Charmed. |
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| Identified by Michael Falkner: Caritas on Angel. |
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| Identified by Michael Falkner: The Talon on Smallville. |
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| Identified by Hugh: Merlotte’s on True Blood. |
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| 14 |
Posted in the Cult-TV Faces of
Sci-Fi Wisdom of the Week
Posted in Sci-Fi Wisdom of the Week
From the Archive: Home Sweet Home (1980)
“A little craziness never hurt anyone…”
In honor of the approaching holiday, today I’m looking back at a really terrible horror film that I first encountered while writing Horror Films of the 1980s (2007).
Conveniently, it’s both Thanksgiving-themed and a turkey.
Advertised with the ad-line “The Bradleys won’t be leaving home. Ever,” Home Sweet Home (1981) is the not-so-riveting story of a deranged serial killer and his holiday rampage.
Said serial killer is portrayed by Body by Jake’s (1988) gleeful Jake Steinfeld. The enthusiastic exercise guru – also known for his music label, “Don’t Quit Music” — plays this muscular madman as a cackling, bulging-eyed freak. This looney killer has the tattoo “home sweet home” emblazoned on his fist, and was incarcerated for eight years over the bludgeoning death of his parents.
In one of the film’s first scenes, this hyperactive, super-fit killer takes PCP by injecting it into his tongue, guns his car engine rowdily, and then runs over a little old lady crossing the street.
Lots of maniacal, silent-movie-style, villlainous cackling over that. Unfortunately, Jake has no moustache to twirl.
Meanwhile, at a Southern California ranch, the unconventional Bradley family is preparing for a holiday that may or may not be Thanksgiving. Let’s see: there’s a turkey. There’s a celebratory meal. There’s a family gathering. And there are guests. But no one mentions Turkey Day by name. The VHS box does it for us.
Anyway — for some reason — the obnoxious Bradley son, charmingly named “Mistake,” is dressed as a mime for the occasion. He’s a practical joke-playing mime, no less. And did I mention, Mistake also dabbles in the electric guitar?
Unfortunately, the mime is one of the last characters to die in Home Sweet Home, meaning the audience must endure Mistake’s lame antics for a very long time before the movie arrives at his fateful, and wholly-deserved electrocution.
The holiday meal with the Bradley family promises to be an unusual one too, not just because Mistake is a mime and because an uninvited serial killer is on his way, but because one of the invitees “won’t drink anything,” since “she hates to go to the bathroom.” WTF? You know, I don’t particularly like going to the bathroom either. I think I’ll stop drinking too. I didn’t realize it was that simple…
And did I mention that some crack cops are on the case, investigating the murders and pursuing the body-builder killer? The classy cops gawk at one character’s overripe breasts after stopping her for speeding, and share this colloquy:
“Did you see that chick with the big bazooms?”
Since Home Sweet Home is incompetently shot, written and acted, one might hope that the violence Jake ultimately inflicts on the Bradley family would at least prove entertaining. But it isn’t (well, except for the death of the mime, to be fair…). One character dies when she falls over and cracks her head against a rock. Can you really blame Ole Jack for that? Another character gets his head crushed under the hood of a car.
Home Sweet Home exhibits the familiar flaw of the worst slasher films, meaning that the killer is always positioned right where he should be in order to kill the one character who happens to be left alone at any given moment. You might accept that level of expertise from a Michael Myers or a Jason…but by Jake Steinfeld? I just can’t ascribe supernatural abilities to this guy. Enthusiasm, gung-ho inspiration, yes. Boogeyman capabilities…no.
Mere words can’t truly convey how irrevocably horrible this movie is. So Happy Thanksgiving, caveat emptor, and…gobble, gobble.
Posted in From the Archive
New Book Reviews for Horror Films of the 1990s
Horror Films of the 1990s — my third “horror films of” decade book – has been racking up some great early reviews, and I wanted to call your attention to a few of ‘em as Black Friday approaches (hint, hint, nudge, nudge):From the Archive: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: "Pangs"
Many horror and sci-fi TV programs boast a Halloween-themed episode — like Star Trek’s “Catspaw” — or even a Christmas episode, such as Millennium’s heartfelt “Midnight of the Century.”
But in broad terms, relatively few cult TV programs boast Turkey Day editions in their episode rosters.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003) remains a notable exception to that rule. During its generally-underrated fourth season, this WB series from creator Joss Whedon presented a funny and involving Thanksgiving installment titled “Pangs.”
The episode – penned by Whedon and Jane Espenson, and directed by Michael Lange – first aired on November 23, 1999.
Hard to believe that’s already twelve years ago…
Hus’s Native American people suffered imprisonment, forced labor and terrible disease when the white man arrived from Europe and quickly populated the American continent. Now, the demon’s first order of business is “re-creating the wrongs” done to his native people all those years and centuries ago.
As Buffy tracks down the vengeful and murderous Hus, she also broaches another challenging undertaking.
She prepares a traditional, home-cooked Thanksgiving meal at Giles’ apartment.
What’s worse, isn’t he right to be upset that — on his people’s former land – the conquering people are now building a “cultural center,” in effect a celebration of the genocide of the indigenous folks?
The topic turns overtly political after a fashion, and everyone who has ever returned home for a family holiday knows that politics is the source of much indigestion at real-life gatherings, at real-life holiday feasts. This idea has been discussed much, especially near the end of Clinton’s second term, specifically in relation to America’s ignoble history of slavery. Are modern Americans — folks living right now — to blame for their ancestors’ misdeeds several generation ago? In terms of the Native American genocide, the same question is raised.
Nobody is bad. Nobody is evil (well, nobody besides Spike…). Everyone just boasts a different perspective on what remains a controversial subject.
Finally, Buffy does fight with lethal force, and the implication seems to be that some hurts, some breaches, just can’t be resolved peaceably. As Xander happily notes at the conclusion of “Pangs,” it’s the perfect Thanksgiving in Sunnydale after all: “a bunch of anticipation, a big fight, and now we’re all sleepy…”
The Cult-TV Faces of: High School Sweethearts
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| Identified by Dr. Howard Margolin: Tony (Michael Pare) and Rhonda (Faye Grant) in The Greatest American Hero. |
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| Identified by Dr. Howard Margolin: Robin (Blair Tefkin) and Brian (Peter Nelson) in “V.” |
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| Identified by David Colohan: Nova (Amanda Wyss) and Trace (Tony O’Dell) in Otherworld. |
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| Identified by David Colohon: James (James Marshall) and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) in Twin Peaks. |
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| 5 |
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| Identified by Dr. Howard Margolin: Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and Angel (David Boreanaz) in Buffy. |
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| Identified by Dr. Howard Margolin: Max (Jason Behr) and Liz (Shiri Appleby) in Roswell. |
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| Identified by Dr. Howard Margolin: Clark Kent (Tom Welling) and Lana Lang (Kristen Kruek) in Smallville. |
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| Identified by Hugh: Veronica (Kristen Bell), Duncan (Teddy Dunn), Lilly (Amanda Seyfried) and Logan (Jason Dohring) in Veronica Mars. |
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| Identified by David Colohan: Caitlin (Linsey Godfrey) and Miles (Carter Jenkins) in Surface. |
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| Identified by Hugh: Elena (Nina Dobrev) and Stefan (Paul Wesley) in The Vampire Diaries |
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